Each of us has, at some point in time in our lives, received life advice from our personal life coaches – parents, siblings, teachers, mentors, kids, the vegetable vendor or the stranger sitting on the adjacent seat on the flight. Something that moved you, changed you or made a difference in your perspective forever. India Pages brings you these slices of life, shared by people from all walks of life … Writers, Photographers, Artists, Television Producers, Hands-on mommies, Entrepreneurs, and Engineers …. Meet Snehal Singh
Have love in your heart, trust in God, live a life of gratitude… Never give up no matter what life throws at you
Let me start right at the beginning. I met my husband 18 years ago. We were just friends then, and now we have been married to each other for the last 7 years. Of course, it was a love marriage, and that too an inter-caste The rest I think I don’t need to spell out… you must have guessed it already.
It’s incredible how the same relationship changes, evolves and grows over a period of time. One of the best things when it comes to a life partner is that it never about just that one relation, it’s about all the relations that come in the package with it. One of them particularly is the “Mother-in-Law”
Do you think dealing with your mother-in-law is more overwhelming compared to your own mother? Well, they say when you marry a man, you also marry his family. And that is truly what it is…
Let me be clear, I am not expecting you to fall in love with your mother-in-law by the end of this article. (If you do have a warm and cordial relationship with your in-laws, that’s genuinely great!) But I do think that by the time you finish reading, you will somewhat agree with me on a few things.
A few days ago, some of my female friends and I got together and talked about different things, ranging from juicy gossip to family matters. Some discussions were centered on living as couples, especially now that we had moved from India to the United States. We eventually delved into the issues of finances as couples. I mentioned that for us, my husband and I have common, joint banking accounts and that nothing is separate.
They were rather surprised, and one of them asked, “So, you’ve never had an argument about it?” I said, “No!” I told them I have been in love with the same guy for 18 years, married for seven years, and we have never had an argument about money issues. They found it surprising because they were used to arguing and fighting over finances.
It made me think about something my husband’s mom said around 15 years ago when she was my boss then. She thought her son and I were just friends and didn’t know we were dating. She told me “money shouldn’t come in between relationships.”
This became something that sank into my subconscious mind and has always stayed with me.
When we started out in our relationship, I was making more money than him. A few years later, when she knew that we were in a relationship, his mother again said, “I don’t want you to overpower my son.” Although I felt bad when I heard it back then, it has worked for me because in between the ups and downs, I have changed jobs, taken small breaks and eventually started a business. My husband, on the other hand, has had had a stable job and that has kept us going. We have never fought about money, and I think that was the best advice my then ‘future mother-in-law’ gave me.
Oscar Wilde said, and I quote, “With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.” This brings me to the second thing I learned from her, which is her emphasis on how age does not define wisdom. I find this surprising because, in most Indian homes, the mother-in-law usually dictates all proceedings.
We lived in a kind of joint family. Though we did not live together every day; our decisions and choices were always made considering everyone. In the early years, I was new, but eventually, I blended in. I learnt a few new things and unlearnt a lot. Whenever there is a family situation, my mother-in-law will always remind me that age doesn’t define wisdom, because whatever an elder says should always be scrutinized properly. If it is useful for you, implement it, and if it is not, discard it because at the end of the day the choice is solely yours.
Coming to the third thing I learned – the Bible says in the Book of Proverbs 20:3, “It is to one’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
As a very vocal person who has a sound background with teaching and training, doing the ‘right thing comes naturally to me. You know that moment when you see something wrong and you just want to quickly correct it, and when it is not in place, you want to voice your opinion as much as you can? That was me, even though I am not that person anymore. I became a work-in-progress by maintaining peace in place of arguments and embracing silence. But this was something I had to learn from my mother-in-law.
So, as individuals, whenever we look outside to solve problems, remember that the answer often lies within. There are infinite possibilities in this world for us to live a happy and purposeful life.
I am a big advocate of inspiration, and I believe wisdom comes from our daily lives and the people we meet on an everyday basis. You don’t need higher education or degrees to give you wisdom, or an opportunity to learn something beautiful. Just look around and you will find amazing lessons in your own backyard.
About Snehal Singh
A Best-Selling Author, and ICF Certified Life Coach, Master Spiritual Coach, Transformational Wellness Coach, and Publisher, Snehal’s list of accomplishments is nothing shy of astounding. Snehal is no stranger to working hard. She has put many hours into building a version of her life that she loves and creating her purpose. Her life of hard work groomed her journey to self-empowerment and self-employment. Growing up in a one-room home in India, Snehal was raised to understand that the richest things in life aren’t the things money can buy.
The things that make you wealthy are having love in your heart, trusting in God, living a life of gratitude, always doing the right thing, and having willpower and confidence never to give up no matter what life throws at you, believes Snehal Singh.
After spending eight years working as a Transformational Life Coach, Snehal dove head first into the world of book writing and publishing. With role models like Oprah, Priyanka Chopra, and Arianna Huffington, it’s no wonder she landed in the line of work she is in. Confident in her abilities and proud of her trials and tribulations, Snehal mixed the worlds of life coaching and publishing and Co-Founded Mind Spirit Works with a sole purpose of giving aspiring writers and authors the assistance they need to share their stories. Snehal is a firm believer that everyone has a story that they should tell.